Table of Contents
Read the Prologue or an excerpt for each chapter.
Table of Contents
How It All Began
An Unexpected Detour In The Journey
What began as a chance encounter in the heart of nature soon became a bond that extended far beyond that secluded trail. Their camaraderie blossomed, weaving their lives and drawing them into a larger circle of friends. In the spontaneity of that unplanned encounter, Helena discovered not only the beauty of the trail, but also the richness of unexpected connections amidst the lush landscapes of the Pacific Northwest—a region renowned for its breathtaking scenery, vibrant culture, and unique blend of terrain.
Looking Back, Moving Forward
The day I told them I was leaving for the United States, I ran into him as he sat in his car waiting for his girlfriend. When I shared the news, he simply shook his head, his gray hair swaying. “It will take you 15 years before you feel truly accepted there,” he warned, his voice solemn. At the time, I didn’t know what to make of it. But in the years that followed, I came to understand how true his words were. The cultural disparities between where I came from and where I now lived became clear, especially as I navigated the labyrinthine complexities of the State Child Welfare Department. His words echoed louder with each bureaucratic obstacle.
A Fragile Start
An Opioid Addicted Infant Starting to Thrive
The rise in opioid-addicted infants is staggering. Babies like Baby V, fighting for their lives from the moment they enter this world. Neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS)—a term that feels so clinical, so inadequate—means withdrawal, pain, and a need for constant care. It means every day is a battle, for him and for us.
Surrounded by Heroes and Villains
As I watched the professionals around Baby V., I came to a devastating realization: no one truly cared about the infant’s future. The courtroom drama, filled with high-stakes posturing and legal battles, seemed detached from the reality that a child’s life hung in the balance. In the midst of all the chaos, only we, as caregivers, along with the child therapists, seemed to hold any genuine concern for Baby V. This case was just one more piece of the larger puzzle I was trying to understand—the puzzle of how so many children slip through the cracks and fall victim to a system that fails them.
Where's The Mother?
As they approached, there was Baby V, nestled in his car seat, his little voice bubbling with innocence. The simple sight of him became a tangible link between mother and child, bridging months of absence and uncertainty. His babbling filled the air, and Helena, with a warm smile, teased, “He’s so loud—he must get that from you.” Breeanna laughed, her eyes lighting up with shared humor. “I don’t think I was that loud as a baby,” she replied, “but you’d better ask my dad.”
Who’s The Father?
Then came the moment of truth—DNA testing. Baby V, too young to understand what was at stake, now faced the ordeal of fingerprinting. His small, soft hands—barely big enough to grasp the world—became the focus of the task at hand. The healthcare worker, patient but visibly strained, struggled to capture those elusive prints. Each attempt left smudges of ink on Baby V’s delicate skin, a messy dance of failed attempts and rising frustration.
The Relentless Rules of the Streets
Cleaning it up wasn’t just hard work; it required painstaking care. The risk of stepping on a hidden needle was real, and each pile of debris carried the weight of human suffering. As I sifted through the mess, something stopped me cold: a Ziploc bag. Inside were used needles, dozens of them, neatly packed, as if someone had tried to impose order on the chaos of addiction. Nearby, another bag—this one full of used diapers.
Shattered Innocence
Avulnerable Infant in Need of Protection
Standing there, looking at the courthouse steps, I felt the weight of it all. Baby V, caught between heroes and villains, with a system that seemed determined to side with the villains. And in that moment, I knew. This is why so many children under the care of Child Welfare perish—because the system doesn’t just fail them, it buries them.
The Truth And Nothing But The Untruth
Rehab facilities, with their strict confidentiality rules, can hide all sorts of things. Claire used that to her advantage, glossing over the gaps, but even the social worker raised an eyebrow at the absurdity of it all. The story went like this: Anthony, ready to begin rehab, abruptly left. Why? A toothache, he said. He couldn’t get help for it, so, naturally, he chose to return to jail for 30 more days. And somehow, in jail, he received the dental care he supposedly couldn’t get outside.
Silence After A Shocking Revelation
Her answer was almost too calm, too matter-of-fact. “They take care of me,” she said, and the simplicity of those five words hit like a punch to the gut. It was more than a confession—it was a bleak acknowledgment of the life she had accepted, a life where survival was bartered in ways that left scars invisible to the eye.
In the Best Interest of the Father
I wasn’t sorry. If I hadn’t done the digging, Baby V. would have been sent there. The thought was unbearable. Another child fatality would have been inevitable. This wasn’t just about uncovering secrets. It was about protecting Baby V. from a tragedy that no one else seemed to see coming.
Looking into the Face of Injustice
It hit me then—a fierce, unrelenting clarity. I had to write about this. I had to expose how children were suffering, how they were dying because of a broken system. A state apparatus in desperate need of overhaul. The puzzle that had plagued me for so long was starting to make sense. Every time a child died under the department’s supervision, the records showed the court returned them to danger. But the court—how could it make the right decision when it was fed lies? Social workers twisted the truth, coached to say whatever was needed to push their agenda.
Innocence Facing an Uncertain Reality
Still, they said nothing. Their voices trapped beneath layers of paralyzing fear. Fear that if they spoke up, if Anthony found out they were questioning him, it would only drive him further away. He would stop turning to them for help. And when the time came for a babysitter, he wouldn’t call family; he’d turn to a neighbor, a stranger. They feared that speaking the truth might sever the last fragile thread of protection Baby V had left. The very act of caring for him had become a double-edged sword, and the silence that followed was suffocating.
Children That Foot the Bill
In a city suffocating under the ruthless grip of fentanyl, Tara stood on the edge of her grief, caught between despair and defiance. She had lost her child to fentanyl’s poison, a storm that ripped through her life, leaving only fragments of the world she once knew. The weight of that tragedy was constant, an unforgiving shadow that never left her. Yet, Tara remained standing, determined to carve some form of redemption from the wreckage.
New Beginnings
The Unplanned Encore
The pounding footsteps of the fire department medics echo through the stairwell, but time feels frozen inside the apartment. This building is too familiar to them—they’ve been here before, though the calls are usually for overdoses, Narcan in hand to bring someone back from the brink. Last time, it was a child, a baby in cardiac arrest from fentanyl exposure. Tonight, though, it’s a different kind of emergency. A new life is clawing its way into the world, and they’re racing against the clock.
In the Best Interest of the Child
When people call, hoping to protect a child, their call is left in the hands of an investigator who may decide it’s not serious enough to pursue. No feedback is given. No action is taken. Over time, those who make the reports lose faith in the system, believing they’ve done all they can—only to see tragedy unfold before their eyes. In M.M.’s case, two warnings were ignored. It wasn’t until five months later—five long months—that another call finally spurred action. By then, it was too late.
Table of Contents
- Part I: How It All Began
- Part II: A Fragile Start
- Part III: Shattered Innocence
- 9. AVulnerable Infant in Need of Protection
- 10. The Truth And Nothing But The Untruth
- 11. Silence After A Shocking Revelation
- 12. In the Best Interest of the Father
- 13. Looking into the Face of Injustice
- 14. Innocence Facing an Uncertain Reality
- 15. Children That Foot the Bill
- Part IV: New Beginnings
- 16. The Unplanned Encore
- 17. In the Best Interest of the Child
- 18. Epilogue
